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  • Writer's pictureMarla Vender, LCSW


If you’ve ever considered cutting yourself off from a loved one, please think again. Speaking to people who have done it and have been on the receiving end, estrangement from family isn’t always the best solution to difficult relationships.

With certain conditions, such as substance abuse/alcoholism, abusive/threatening behavior, or something that most people would agree is egregious behavior, cutting off contact may be the only way to keep yourself safe. Even so, it is possible that boundaries can be set that allow some type of contact to remain, and over time, some healing to occur.

Ultimately, estrangement that is solid and complete will not allow for any type of reconciliation, and has the potential to make you feel unhappiness and regret.

Before you cut someone out of your life, ask yourself some questions:

What did this person do directly to me that has caused me to feel this way? Was it really that bad? If I did the same thing to them, would I expect them to react the same way as me? Was the thing they did a constant in our relationship, or circumstance? Do they know that I don’t like what they are doing or have done? Have I ever tried to talk about it with them?

Read more about estrangement here, and here.


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